Nothing
by walraaj
Summary: This is a story following Lexa, post Clexa breakup. Lexa is a drunken mess trying to win Clarke back after many mistakes leading to Clarke's eventually leaving. Will she win Clarke over again, or will she crash and burn yet again? (based on the song Nothing by The Script)
1. Nothing

Lexa is slumped against the bar, feeling completely defeated. She is already three drinks in and her head is already feeling fuzzy; she knows that she's going to regret this in the morning. Just like she does every morning for the last few months. Every  
day after work she comes by Polis to drown her sorrows in whiskey and cheap beer, but it's never enough. It will never be enough to dull the ache in her heart that has been ever-present since the day that Clarke left. She supposes that it only makes  
it worse, alcohol making her senses dull but somehow not helping her forget the love of her life. All she can think about is Clarke, this will probably never change. Lexa hears the scrape of a barstool as someone takes the seat next to her, already  
knowing who it is. She sits up while heaving a deep sigh as she orders another drink from the bartender.

"Are you still moping around about Clarke?" Lexa visibly flinches at hearing the name spoken out loud. Anya notices this and sighs, knowing that her best friend will not get over Clarke easily. She's tried to get her back into the dating scene, but Lexa  
won't have it and simply refuses to go anywhere that's not work or Polis. Anya won't take no for an answer this time, "Come on, Lex, you're better off now than you ever were with her." The glare that Anya receives for that comment does not go unnoticed  
by the blonde, but she chooses to ignore it and tries again.

"I'm sure a few drinks will help you to forget her," Anya offers with a small, sympathetic smile. Lexa simply scoffs at that ' _what do you think I've been doing for the last three months'_ she thinks, but accepts the new beer from Anya, while quickly  
downing the glass of whiskey in front of her. The alcohol continues being shoved toward Lexa, as she steadily begins to lose her grip on reality. The more alcohol that enters her system the less that she can control herself and her thoughts begin  
racing, ' _am I better off dead? am I better off a quitter?'_.

Lexa's vision begins to blur and she wonders how much she has had to drink. She quickly stands, stumbling toward the exit and running into one too many tables on the way out and finally bursts into the street. She orients herself, still trying to see  
clearly. Anya walks out shortly behind her friend, now slightly regretting encouraging Lexa to drink herself into a stupor. As Lexa walks down the street, practically dragging her feet in her drunkenness; Anya follows patiently, understanding that  
Lexa may need this in order to move on.

Suddenly Lexa begins to attempt to shout, her words coming out slurred and way quieter than she intended. "Clarke! Please forgive me, I'm so sorry. I'll do anything, please Clarke!" She lets out broken (and drunken) sobs as she repeats this, slowly getting  
quieter the more they walk. Anya notices as Lexa begins to pull her phone out of her pocket and goes to stop her, as she is sure that Clarke does not want to hear from a drunken Lexa. Lexa simply shakes her off slurring about how she has to do this  
and something that sounded like incoherent mumblings followed by, "she'll take me back for sure". Anya just let her call, and watched as Lexa dialed Clarke's number and confess to her that she was still in love. After her confession Lexa stopped and  
listened; Anya thought that maybe Clarke had answered, maybe she was reciprocating Lexa's regret for the end of their relationship.

"NOTHING!" Anya jumps, surprised by the outburst and just watches as Lexa throws the phone toward the ground in her anger. Lexa then drops her head into her hands as she stands there looking more defeated than ever.

Lexa quickly turns to Anya, almost as if only now noticing that she's there and addresses her, "I can change her mind. I can turn it all around."

"Lexa, you're drunk", Anya tried to reason with her.

"I know! I know that I'm drunk, but I'll say the words and she'll listen this time!" Lexa seemed so sure this time, as if Clarke couldn't turn her down this time. This wasn't the first time that Lexa has harassed Clarke looking for reconciliation.

Lexa then took off, running with more fervor than Anya has ever seen from a drunk person. Granted, she was still stumbling with every step, holding onto the railings and fences of houses as she walked by looking for the right one.

"I know if we're face to face, she'll come to her senses" Lexa whispers out as she slows to catch her breath and Anya finally catches up to her. Lexa then continues on her journey, with every drunk step leading her to Clarke's door.

Finally, they arrived at Clarkes house. Lexa stopped and admired the place where she used to spend so much time, a place that could've been home. Lexa takes a deep breath and then slowly walks up to the front door of the familiar house. She lightly knocks,  
wanting to see Clarke but unsure if she can handle it. After minutes of waiting in silence Lexa knocks again, this time louder. Still she heard nothing. Lexa was unsure of what this meant, she didn't know why Clarke wouldn't answer the door. She begins  
to pound on it, slowly losing herself as she can feel the hot tears running down her face. Anya quickly runs up and grabs Lexa, forcing her into a hug that she soon gives in to. Loud sobs rack Lexa's body and Anya has a hard time holding her up. Mixed  
in with the heartbroken sobs, Anya can hearLexa calling out her ex-lovers' name. Anya knows that this has broken Lexa, and that she may never recover from this.

As Anya pulls Lexa away from the hauntingly familiar house, Lexa looks back one more time. She wanted words and all she heard was nothing.


	2. Flashback

_Clarke covers her face, blocking out the overwhelming nudity. "I can't believe that you convinced me to watch this!" Clarke shrieks at her girlfriend, who just lets out a loud bark of laughter at Clarke's antics. They were watching Orange is the New Black; Lexa had somehow convinced Clarke to finally watch it with her. Clarke peaked through her fingers and looked at her girlfriends face, she seemed a little too into the show for Clarke's liking. Clarke quickly delivered a small smack to Lexa's upper arm. "Ow! What was that for?" Lexa let out in protest to being hit. Clarke didn't answer, just crossed her arms and stuck out her bottom lip in her signature pout. Lexa looked over at her with a small smirk which quickly spread when she saw her girlfriends pout. "Don't worry babe, you're the only one for me," she said in a low sultry voice as she leans in to capture Clarke's soft lips. Clarke smiled into the kiss, loving her girlfriend more and more with each day that they spent together. Clarke's smile quickly turned to a smirk as she pushed her girlfriend back against the couch that they were sitting on, the television completely forgotten. Lexa gave into the kiss, loving the way that her girlfriend felt against her. She thought that maybe she could see herself with Clarke forever. She wanted to grow old with her, and Clarke felt the same way. They never wanted this to end._

 _Lexa moved her hands from Clarkes waist to her ass, holding her as close as she possibly could and squeezing every now and then. Clarke let out a small whine as she began to grind against Lexa, wanting to feel her girlfriends bare skin against hers for the first time. Lexa groaned as Clarke continued grinding into her. Lexa flipped them over so that she was now on top, never breaking their contact. They continued to kiss heatedly for a few minutes until suddenly Lexa pulled back. She looked down at Clarke with a question in her eyes, along with so much love that Clarke almost couldn't take it. Clarke nodded slowly, feeling her own love for the woman on top of her swell. Lexa let a small smile grace her lips as she leaned down and gave Clarke a small kiss before sitting up again to remove her shirt. Clarke leaned up slightly to let Lexa remove her shirt also. As she sat back, Lexa looked down at her with the love she felt for Clarke becoming completely overwhelming. Lexa thought that maybe it was time to finally tell Clarke how she felt about her._

 _"You are so beautiful, Clarke." Lexa let out with a breath as she tried to gather the courage to say those three words that have been on her mind for the last month. Clarke blushed as she smiled up at Lexa. Lexa closed her eyes, steeling herself. She was about to open her mouth to finally say it when she heard Clarke speak from below her._

 _"I love you" Lexa's eyes shot open, thoroughly surprised that Clarke had actually said it first. Clarke seemed to be a little put off by Lexa's reaction, probably assuming that that was not in fact what Lexa was about to say. She almost looked as if she was starting to regret saying it. Lexa finally let a small smile spread on her face, easing Clarkes' worries. She leaned down and kissed Clarke slowly, meaningfully. She leaned back again and whispered out the words that she has been dying to say and Clarke has been dying to hear._

 _"I am so inlove with you, Clarke Griffin" Clarke quickly reached up and brought Lexa's mouth back to hers, kissing her with renewed passion._


End file.
